How YOU May Be Stopping Yourself from Finding Success & Joy

Oh sweet mama,

If you are anything like me, you have a lot going on. #amIright?!

I don’t have to remind you that you have a lot on your plate. 

As mothers and business owners, we have so much to balance that it can be completely overwhelming. If we let it. You can usually tell when you’re overwhelmed: you always feel exhausted or you feel fear creeping in. 

Well... the fear you feel during overwhelming times is just often doubt.  

Whether you doubt yourself or something or someone else, doubt easily turns to fear during stressful times.

And the overwhelming feelings can prevent you from finding success and joy.

Here's the thing though - all too often, your own mind is to blame for holding you back from becoming your best self.

Ouch. I know.

Let’s take a closer look at that together.

What causes it?

We can be overwhelmed by fear and doubt when we are striving instead of surrendering. 

Striving happens when you’re depending on your own efforts to get things done. 

Surrendering happens when you trust God to work with you to bring about the best results.

Psalm 127:1 says, 

“Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain.”

In a similar line of thought, Proverbs 23:4 says,

“Do not toil to acquire wealth; be discerning enough to desist.”

Although Scripture has many verses about the value of hard work, these verses remind us that part of hard work is taking the time to rest and discern our next steps. 

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the responsibilities at work and at home, you may be overworking. When you’re constantly striving instead of surrendering, you’re more susceptible to exhaustion and fear.

How can you overcome it?

One important way to overcome fear is to understand it for what it is. Fear is a normal brain response that has worked to keep us safe. We’ve been wired for survival. When we were hunters and gatherers, we needed our fear response to help get us out of life-threatening situations. Nowadays, we don’t need the immediate fear response and adrenaline to get us out of dangerous situations, and yet our brains are still wired to signal us when danger (or the perception of danger) arises.

Fear vs. Faith

We may sense fear in situations that are no real threat to us. Trying new things and stretching outside our comfort zones may cause us to feel fear. For some people, meeting new people or making important phone calls can cause fear.

All of this fear is really just a belief in what we do not desire.

If you’re afraid of meeting new people, the fear isn’t about the interactions themselves but the fear that you’ll be rejected or ridiculed by new people.

Fear is the opposite of faith. Faith is the belief in what we do desire.

Hebrews 11:1 says,

“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”

As we branch out and grow, it’s important that we rely on faith, not fear, to guide us.

Learning to SURRENDER

If you want to overcome fear in your life, it’s important that you learn how to give up control and surrender all parts of your life. When you recognize that the outcome is not up to us, but to God, it is easier to step back, stop striving, and rest in faith.

Once we’ve done our part, we can trust that God will do the rest. In Mark 10, a rich young man approaches Jesus and asks how he can enter the kingdom of heaven. When Jesus tells the young man to sell all he has, give to the poor, and follow Him, the young man walks away sad. It’s notable what Jesus doesn’t do in this story (and so many others like it). He doesn’t chase after the young man and beg him to do what He’s said. Instead, Jesus knows that He has planted the seeds and the result is between this young man and God. 

After we’ve done our part, we must learn to surrender and trust God with what we’ve planted. If we plant good seeds, we can trust in the law of sowing and reaping, knowing that we will reap a good harvest. 2 Corinthians 9:10 reminds us,

 “Now He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness.”

When your work is surrendered to God, the outcome is in His trustworthy hands.

Biblical Rest

When we embrace a life filled with grace instead of a life driven by the grind, we are able to rest in God. Matthew 11:28-30 says,

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in hearth, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

When you abide in God, you are invited to adopt a cycle of work and rest that can help release you from the pressures and fears about the outcome. When you are released from the outcome, you learn what faith really is. As long as you’re living in God’s will, you can rest, knowing that what He’s called you to is in His hands. 

There are times when you might feel like you’re behind. Maybe you didn’t meet a deadline you set for yourself or maybe you’re falling behind in your responsibilities at home. Feeling like you’re behind can create a lot of anxiety and fear, but it’s important to remember that there is no “behind” in God’s timing. The timing He has for you is PERFECT. When you’re following Him and depending on Him for your work and rest cycles, there is no “being behind.”

Conclusion

When you choose faith over fear and surrender over striving, you’re empowered to do even more than you ever thought possible. Rest and surrender may seem like passive (or even “weak”) activities, yet we know from Scripture that there is great strength in surrendering to God’s power and will. 

I will end with 2 Corinthians 12:9 which says, 

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

These words from God were a reminder to Paul that God shows His strength through weak vessels. Those same words can be that reminder to us today. No matter how weak or “behind” you feel, trust that God is doing something in your life. 

When you live in surrender to Him, you open yourself up to true success and joy.

I would love to invite you to join my Facebook group for moms - I will be conducting a series of FREE mini-trainings in there exclusively on this and other topics.

Note: Once you request access, you just need to answer a few questions to help me better tailor the trainings I offer in there to your needs... and stay tuned. I will be officially accepting all requests into the group starting next Monday.