How to Stay Focused On Your Purpose & Goals WITHOUT Getting Distracted, Discouraged, or Disrupted

Life as a mom is crazy under normal circumstances.  There are a million different things constantly vying for our attention especially when you have a business to run in addition to family to care for. 

With the added pressure that has come with 2020, moms are feeling even more stress. Between the election, political and racial tensions, the pandemic, and the normal stressors that come with being a mom, it may seem impossible to focus on your purpose and goals. 

Especially with all of these things going on, it is important to learn some key time management and productivity skills that will help you take back control in your life and focus on your purpose and goals. It’s easy to let your hectic schedule determine what you’ll do each day. But with a few tips and tricks, you’ll be able to pivot your efforts to focus on your goals (and still get all of those other things done!) without getting distracted or discouraged by all the stress around you.

Uncover and Define Your Purpose & Priorities

What really matters to you? Is there something you’ve been wanting to accomplish or a business you’ve been wanting to build? It may seem unfathomable to focus on anything besides raising your kids, especially if they’re infants or preschoolers. However, it is important for you to concentrate some of your energy on working toward your own purpose and priorities.

It’s easy to live on auto-pilot, doing things as they come up or come due. The bulk of your energy is spent on raising your children and we all know just how much energy that takes!

Take some time to dig deep to define what your purpose and priorities are. When you determine what those things are, write them down! Write them down in your planner, your journal, or on a scrap of paper that you can put somewhere where you’ll see it often. Writing down your purpose, priorities, and goals will help you refocus your energy on those things. And ignore the small and inconsequential stresses. They only distract you from the larger picture.

For an added layer of accountability, tell your spouse or a close friend about the goals you’ve set for yourself. When you tell someone you trust about your goals, they can help you create the space needed to meet those goals. They can cheer you on when you’re making progress or encourage you when you’re stuck.

If you’re a person of faith, your purpose and priorities will most likely be grounded in your relationship with God. When your schedule gets busy or tasks seem especially difficult, having a purpose that is deeply tied to your faith can help you push through.

When you have a strong sense of purpose, it can help guide you when things become hectic. As you plan your time, make sure you’ve prioritized the “big rocks” – those truly important things that have to get done. Once you’ve completed those tasks, you free yourself up to focus on your other priorities. 

Take Things ONE Day at a Time

You only have so many hours in your day. You can’t be successful if you’re pulled in too many directions and unable to focus.

Planning your day will help you to intentionally use your time to accomplish your goals. When planning out your day, use a planner to organize your tasks and schedule. My “Maximize Your Day” planner is a free resource that can help you with that. Download it here.

To understand how you use your time, keep track of how your time is being used. There are lots of great apps and computer programs out there that can help you track your time. If you prefer, get a pen and a notebook to write things down old school. When you keep track of how your time is being used, you may find time you didn’t realize you had.  

For example, you might discover that you spend a lot of time scrolling through social media while the kids nap or while they’re at school. The rest and connection you get from social media are important, but too much time on social media might be one of the things standing in the way of you accomplishing your goals.

Focus on What You Can Control 

With so many outside factors trying to barge their way into our lives, it is easy to get caught up on things outside of our control.

Too often we spend time worrying about things we have no power over. You need to let go of the things that are outside your realm of direct influence, and instead focus your energy on what you can. If you’re stressed by the news, turn it off. If you’re upset that people aren’t social distancing, avoid them and realize that you can’t force people to do something. You have the power to control only what you do. Focus on your sleep routine, what you eat, how you speak to yourself, and the boundaries that you set. You can’t alter the way someone thinks or behaves. Concentrate on your own attitude, effort, and actions to maximize your effectiveness. It takes discipline, but it will empower you.

And remain flexible.

Emergencies come up, and with kids you may have little emergencies consistently throughout your week. A child’s illness, a spill, or a bad day can disrupt your schedule and your plans. It happens, and it’s okay! You can’t control these things, but you can make a plan that helps you flexibly adapt to the constantly changing demands of parenthood.

When you plan your day with your purpose and priorities in mind, you can still achieve your goals, even when things don’t go as planned. A good schedule will allow room for the unexpected, while still challenging you to work toward your goals.

Have Realistic Expectations for Yourself

When you plan your schedule and goals, keep in mind what you can realistically accomplish. Don’t set yourself up for failure by creating a long to-do list that you know you won’t be able to complete—you’ll only end up feeling dejected and discouraged. Your productivity levels are not the same as they were before you had children, and that’s okay. There will be periods of time where a realistic goal is to spend fifteen minutes on your personal goals.  (By the way, reason #11101 why our ability to focus and be productivity even in small chunks of time is crucial as a mom!). As your children get older, you may find that you can spend more time on these things. What’s important is that you set your goals with your real life in mind.

The acronym “SMART” has often been used to describe how to set better goals for yourself. “SMART” stands for Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-Based. A huge aspect of setting and meeting goals is making sure that they are attainable. A good goal is one that will stretch you while still being grounded in reality.

Even when you take the time to set “SMART” goals, you don’t guarantee success. Give yourself extra grace when you don’t meet the goals you’ve set.  It’s tough being a parent, but it’s even worse if you’re always hard on yourself. The goal is progress, not perfection. Because you can’t always plan for hours of uninterrupted time, you should plan for what you can reasonably get done. It’s important to remember that even when you don’t meet the “reasonable” goals you’ve set, you aren’t a failure. Cut yourself a little slack and try again tomorrow.

Don’t Over Schedule

This idea is pretty similar to the last one. It’s important to make sure that your schedule is not too packed.  Choose only a few key priorities to accomplish in the day. A good schedule, especially as a mom, will leave room for the unexpected. When your schedule has unstructured or flexible time, you set yourself up to succeed. 

Have you ever had two appointments in one day? If your first appointment was only supposed to take 45 minutes but ends up taking two hours, you may find yourself in a position where you’ll be late to your next appointment. There’s nothing you could have done to make the earlier appointment go faster, but you’re still having to manage the consequences.

The same thing can happen with your day. If you plan to finish a task within fifteen minutes, you might discover that interruptions make that task take an hour. Plan extra time around your schedule to catch up on tasks. This way, you can meet your goals even when things go awry. 

Set Boundaries around Your Time

It can be hard to set boundaries around your time when you have children. Especially when they’re young, children do things on their schedule. Your time is structured around their needs. It is what it is, during this season of motherhood.

When you’re tired or stressed, the last thing you want to do is get up earlier or stay up later. However, this is often the only time you can reliably set aside to work on your goals without interruption. For example, you might decide to set aside half an hour or more each night after the kids go to bed for you to work on your goals. I personally prefer to wake up early in the morning and get things done prior to everyone else waking up.  I am not a morning person by any means but I commit to doing this because I find that I can get a lot done during those early quiet hours while I am still mentally fresh and not worn down by the day yet.  Do what works for you.  While the kids are part schooling from home, my husband and I have worked out a schedule that allows him to work his full-time hours during the day and then I get uninterrupted time afterwards to focus on my business while he takes care of them and dinner preparation. (Yes, he’s a good good man!).  Get your spouse and older children on board so they know that time is set aside for you to get things done.  And minimize interruptions as much as possible.

Because this focused time is so valuable, make sure to turn off social media. Don’t take calls or answer texts. This time is not for you to work toward someone else’s purpose, but your own. Use this time to focus on the things that are a priority to you. It isn’t selfish to take time to focus on your own goals and priorities! When you create this time, build boundaries so that you can depend on having this time to work toward your goals.

Don’t Forget to Rest

Goal-setting and productivity are great, but it’s important that you take time to rest and enjoy the life that you have now. When you take time to rest, you set yourself up to be more productive later on.

You are more than what you do (we are human beings after all) and you are worthy whether or not you’ve reached your goals. When you don’t do all of the things you hoped to do, cut yourself some slack. Your productivity won’t be what it was pre-kids or even pre-pandemic, and that’s okay. Take time to be present and to focus on what really matters.

As a Christian, the practice of keeping the Sabbath is extremely important. Genesis tells us that God rested after the six days of creation. If even God took the time to rest, surely you can, too! Your Sabbath celebration may include church attendance and time with family, but it can also include time alone to enjoy the things that give you energy. Rest is part of a healthy and godly rhythm of life.

Our businesses are important, but should not stand in the way of our marriages, our friendships, and our relationships with our children.  

During your down time, make an effort to show up fully, wholly, powerfully, and joyfully. Whether you’ve met your goals or not, you deserve to enjoy your marriage, parenting, friendships, communities, and hobbies. You’re allowed to have a life outside of getting things done. Make sure to enjoy it!

If you want to focus on your purpose and manage your daily tasks, my “Maximize Your Day” Planner can help you get more done in less time. You don’t have to sacrifice your well-being or your relationships to successfully meet your goals. Download this free resource here.